Our stay in Portugal was planned as a respite, a no-agenda, unscheduled interlude without a lot of sight-seeing. It’s not that Lisbon and Sintra don’t offer a lot to see, but we know that with kids you can only be a tourist for so long before rebellion sets in and you risk finding yourselves stuck in a relatively expensive vacation rental with children who refuse to do anything but lie on the floor and color (or worse). We’ve learned to pace ourselves so that everyone gets to see and do interesting things, everyone gets some down time, and no one gets (too) cranky. It’s not an exact science (nothing in parenting is) but we’re getting better at it every year.

So, we puttered around the house and garden. The kids drew and played with stomp rockets and practiced their headstands. I picked ruffly leaves of kale from under the laundry line and admired the amazing harvest of red peppers:

We didn’t hurry (well, except for the trip to the ER).

And that gave us all the more time to make baccala, which is pretty much the national dish of Portugal. Or I should say, it would have given us more time to make baccala, but in fact the meal arrived on the table without my input or participation at all. So while I would love to be able to share the recipe here, as well as pictures of how it all came together, would have loved to be part of the process, asking questions about how long to soak the dried cod, who taught her the recipe, how many variations she’s made or eaten, Ursula’s mother-in-law soaked the cod, and rinsed it and soaked it again until it was tender, starting a couple days before our dinner. Then she and Ursula pulled it all together, chopping onions, potatoes, parsley and olives.

It all happened in the background while the kids played and we relaxed. It gave me a wonderful sense of being cared for, which of course made the meal especially delicious. So while I can’t tell you how to make baccala, I can tell you that the soft and salty layers of salt cod and potatoes and onions, eaten at a table with family and friends, make for a most unexpected and wonderful comfort food. And I can tell you that it is the perfect meal after an afternoon scrambling over walls of a ruined 9th century Moorish castle — but you shouldn’t wait for an outing like that to eat it.

The table on the Lanai

For some reason, things are easier on Kauai. Take dinner for instance:  grilled fresh fish, rice, local vegetables or salad.  Fast, easy, delicious.  Both Ella and Finn insisted on maybe our second night that things tasted better in Hawaii. They had a point. It might have been the weather. It might have been the lanai. It might have been the ease of it all, or having all of us together, or the pre-dinner watercolor painting in the secret spot. Regardless–family dinners are  a highpoint of vacation partly for the new food (ono, fiddlehead ferns, local pork and beef from just a few miles up the road) but mostly because we all gathered happily together on our garden lanai.

And more to the point:  every night we ate at home,  the kids happily and eagerly set the table. Can I repeat? They set. the. table. With alacrity. Without complaining. With lovely care to attention and detail.  They worked peacefully together. They cooperated. They set the table at home, too, with some regularity, but not nearly with such good cheer and eagerness.  At home, this is a chore that interrupts the very ebb and flow of their life. But on the Island? It’s a Fun Thing To Do.   Go figure.  Personally, I think we need more orchids on the table.  Perhaps that would do it.

I’ve written about salmon backs before, twice, actually, but they’re so good, and fast and economical they deserve more notice. If you can get salmon backs from your fishermonger, or counter, or farmer’s market, BUY THEM. Don’t be afraid, even though they’re weird looking and long and bony and flat and will appear to be the opposite of what you want in a good piece of fish.  But they are full of flavor, and easy to fix.  They will likely not be on display. ASK if you can get them.

Then, you can add this to your ways of preparing them:

• sprinkle with salt
• drizzle with white wine
• Rub with a grainy, country dijon
• fold over lots of leafy ferns of fresh dill

Refrigerate, covered, or in a bag for as long as you have.  Grill or bake at high heat (425 degrees) for 5 minutes.  Let cool slightly, and with a fork, flake the meat off the bones. This is easy.  Serve immediately, or later at room temperature.

This is what they look like before cooking:

Salmon backs go beautifully with grilled bread, a side pasta dish, crackers of all sorts, eggs and bagels for a fancy brunch. They also make a really mean fish taco.  Last night, Finn ate three.

My father-in-law, James Grant, would have been 86 today. He was a husband and father, an engineer and artist, a backyard wine maker and meat smoker. He is remembered, by his friends and family, for his generosity, his straight talk, his gorgeous paintings and sculpture, and his great cooking. I regret that I never knew him, but we remember to mark his birthday each year with his pasta puttanesca, a good salad and garlic bread, and a bottle of his wine — this year, a 1982 Amador Valley Cabernet. Cheers!

You know the moment: dinner is not quite ready but the kids are starving. You don’t want to give them a snack because that would ruin everything. What do you do?

First, I enlist them. Even Finn, at 5, is old enough to set the table. And if they know that I’ll get dinner on the table more quickly, they’re glad to help out. And I, of course, am glad for the help.

Then, I find something fast and healthy and good-looking to give them that won’t ruin dinner. I make them sit down at the place they just set and enjoy it, their precursor to dinner. In other words, they get a kid’s appetizer. These days, it’s often a tomato surprise, but what I serve depends on the season (what’s fresh and ready-to-go?) and the dinner plan. Pulling a side dish from your menu and serving it first can sate your kids’ hunger and also create that sense of ceremony and specialness that comes with eating in courses.  They have to slow down to eat, they eat one thing at a time, they feel like they’re getting a treat, or something special, and most important your meal isn’t hijacked by little ravenous appetites, (and theirs) isn’t ruined.

I think it’s important that it look good, so it feels like the beginning of dinner, not something you threw to the zoo animals. Also, it should be very, very simple. For instance, last week, they got a cute dish of sugar snaps, and a small slice of bread with fresh mozzarella drizzled with olive oil and a little salt.

For an added treat, I put a splash of homemade (by Ella) lemonade in their bubbly water and added a garnish of lime. They have a thing about limes.

We’re having a mini-love affair with all things Cuban in our home, which began with Picadillo and may have reached its peak when I read Pete Wells’ piece about scorching but not ruining a batch of black beans.

These beans take some time, but they are surprisingly easy  to make and they are completely, fantastically delicious.  Delicious as in you could eat them for your last meal delicious and never regret a thing. They’re great with rice, or a little picadillo, or fresh tortillas and a side of your favorite slaw.  In the spontaneous spirit of Wells’ piece, I’ve found they’re still terrific if you leave out the ham hock (but better with it in), and certainly you can adjust the heat of the jalapeno for your family.  Certainly, vegetarians can find a work-around for the meat.  They’re great for a family dinner, they’re great leftover, and they’re really great for company.  However you subtly adapt these for your kitchen, just try these. I promise you:  The husband loves them. The kids adore them.  They’re a revelation all around.

We ate them first on a warm spring night, for a really casual al fresco dinner on the lovely bench the husband built. Finn set the bench.

Ella personalized the place cards.

Here’s the recipe as it originally appeared in the New York Times:

Cuban Black Beans

• 11/2 green peppers, stemmed and seeded
• 10 garlic cloves
• 1 pound dried black beans, rinsed and picked over to remove any stones
• 1 smoked ham hock
• 2 bay leaves
• 5 teaspoons salt, or to taste
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 4 slices thick bacon, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
• 1 Spanish onion, diced
• 1 jalapeño, stemmed and finely chopped
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground
• black pepper
• 3 tablespoons distilled white vinegar
• 1 tablespoon turbinado or other brown sugar.

1. Cut 1 green pepper into 1-inch squares. Smash and peel 4 of the garlic cloves. Put the green pepper and garlic into a large pot with the beans, ham hock, bay leaves and 1 tablespoon salt. Add 2 quarts water and bring to a boil. Cover the pot and simmer until the beans are tender, an hour or more.

2. Meanwhile, make a sofrito. Cut the remaining ½ green pepper into ¼-inch dice. Peel and finely chop the remaining garlic. Heat the olive oil in a very large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the bacon and cook, stirring occasionally, until it starts to brown, about 5 minutes. Add the green pepper and onion and cook, stirring, until slightly softened, about 3 minutes. Add the garlic, jalapeño (leave out the seeds if you don’t want it too spicy), oregano, cumin, black pepper and 2 teaspoons salt and stir for another minute. Pour in the vinegar and scrape any browned bits from bottom of pan with a wooden spoon. This is your sofrito.

3. When the beans are cooked, discard the bay leaf. Remove and set aside the ham hock and let it cool. Transfer 1 cup of beans to small bowl, mash them into a paste with the back of a fork and return to the pot. Add the sofrito, then the sugar. Pull the meat from the ham hock, leaving behind any white sinew or gristle. Chop the ham into ½-inch pieces and return it to the bean pot.

4. Stir the beans well and bring to a boil over medium heat, then lower to a simmer and cook, uncovered, for 20 minutes or so, skimming any foam from the top. Taste for salt and serve with white rice. Serves 8 to 10. Adapted from “Tastes Like Cuba,” by Eduardo Machado and Michael Domitrovich.

It’s a snack food, a packable lunch dish, a side dish, an appetizer, an all around helpful thing to have in your kitchen. It’s lightening fast to make. It’s completely addictive.  It’s a way of getting your kids to eat more raw vegetables.  And even you won’t be able to stop eating it with salads, with crudite, for lunch, before dinner, after school. Even if you don’t like the bottled stuff, try this.  There’s no comparison. And there’s nothing like having a big batch of something healthy to pull out and feed the kids when they’re begging for food and dinner isn’t quite ready.

I dug up this recipe a few years ago, and while we don’t always have it the refrigerator, it’s the kind of thing that the kids suddenly remember and beg for. Last week it was Finn’s turn to remember that “pink dipping sauce” and so I made it. I had half a head of iceberg lettuce in the refrigerator, left over from fish tacos the night before, and we whipped up a batch of dressing, and it has lasted us all week.   I served it to them first over wedges of lettuce, which Finn thought was just about the best thing ever.

The recipe makes a lot, but it keeps really well (even gets better as the flavors blend), so we portion it out all week long, mostly with carrots and celery, which I precut and keep in the refrigerator.

The original recipe is here. My only change is to substitute ketchup for chili sauce and add a dash of tabasco (or more or less to your taste).  I usually don’t have pimentos, so I often leave them out, but when I’m short on pickles I’ve thrown in a few pimento  stuffed olives; you can leave out the egg, but it’s much better with it in.

Homemade Thousand Island dressing

• 1 1/4 cups mayonnaise
• 1/3 cup ketchup
• 1/4 cup chopped drained pimiento
• 1 large hard-boiled egg, shelled, finely chopped
• 3 tablespoons finely chopped dill pickle
• 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
• 2 tablespoons drained capers
• 2 tablespoons chopped green onion
• Tabasco or other Hot pepper sauce

This is another fast, easy, intensely flavorful recipe that’s great for a weeknight change. It’s also really affordable & relies on things that you can easily keep in your pantry &/or freezer.  It saved me over the last month, when I needed to get dinner on table with a minimum of prep work.  For the kids, it has the added bonus of being sort of fun and surprising. They get their own, individually wrapped entry on their plates, and they get to unpack it by themselves, which of course makes them feel sort of important .   And like most everything  I cook, it can be varied depending on your taste  and what you happen to have on hand.  The basic recipe is from Food and Wine and you can find it here.

Basically, it’s a pork chop topped with mustard, cured meat, & herbs en papillote (a fancy way for saying wrapped in foil or parchment) and baked for about 20 minutes. It produces a deeply flavored, tender chop surrounded by a few tablespoons of delicious juice. Pair it with some quick sauteed greens, a salad, and a side of white beans with garlic and olive oil.  You’re kids should be delighted when you serve them a plate with their own packet to open, even happier when they cut into it, and you’ll be surprised at how good and easy it is. Every time.

My strategies are below. See the original recipe for a lovely picture.  I only got the taste tester’s verdict:

Pork Chops With Mustard and Bacon

For each packet you’ll need:

• One bone-in pork chop (the bone is ideal for tenderness and flavor, also you want chops with some fat)
• 2 t Dijon mustard
• 1 Slice Canadian bacon, prosciutto, or thinly sliced pancetta
• Fresh or dried thyme, or other herbs to your taste
• Foil square

Place the pork chop in the center of the foil square. Top with a teaspoon (or more or less, to your taste) of mustard. Layer the sliced bacon/pancetta/prosciutto on top, then top with another teaspoon or so of mustard and sprinkle with herbs.  Tightly crimp the foil packet closed all around the pork chop. Bake at 400 degrees for about 20 minutes. Let rest. Serve with or without packet, reserving juices.

This is one of those things that can save your day, and it may be my new favorite thing to keep in the refrigerator. It’s not a dish, per se, but a basic recipe for a Vietnamese dipping sauce that is incredibly versatile and fantastically delicious.  The kids go nuts for it.

Composed of garlic, chilis, fish sauce, Nuco Cham is sweet and savory and light.  You can vary the proportions for your family’s taste, and then use it as a cooking sauce, a dipping sauce, a light dressing.   It works on poultry, beef, pork, tofu, crisp vegetables like cucumbers, cabbage, robust lettuces, bean sprouts, even fresh tomatoes.  It works with rice or noodles.  And the bonus is that you can make a double recipe, keep it in the refrigerator, and pull it out when you only have 20 minutes to get dinner on the table.   It’s especially delicious and easy if you have a countertop grill and want to make some quick grilled meat.  I buy whole, boneless breasts, and cut them into slim fingers, use a bit of fajita meat, or a pork tenderloin, which I also slice very thinly. These small bits are kid friendly, and easily handled by children with chopsticks, or threaded onto skewers (making utensils unnecessary), and most important, they literally grill (or stir fry) in a matter of minutes.  If you have your rice ready, or use glass noodles, which also cook in minutes, you can get a healthy, really delicious dinner on the table in a flash.

There are many recipes for Nuoc Chom, but the one I start with is from an old Food and Wine Cookbook, reproduced below.  Double it, use half, and save the other half in a glass jar in the refrigerator for a night when you really need it.  You can use the herbs or leave them out if you don’t have them on hand, and you can add the vegetables that your family likes. You can also use rice, or rice noodles instead of the pasta. Think of this as a general guide and technique. The possibilities are endless.

Vermicelli with Chicken Skewers and Nuoc Cham

serves 4

• 5 T Asian fish sauce
• 2 T sugar
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 T cooking oil
• 1 lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut lengthwise into 12 strips (or an equivalent portion of beef, pork, or tofu)
• 1/2 t dried red pepper flakes
• 1 t red wine vinegar
• 2 T  + 1 t lime juice
• 2 T water
• 1/2 lb vermicelli, or rice noodles, or enough rice to feed your family
• 1 cucumber, peeled, halved lengthwise, seeded and cut into thin slices
• 2/3 cuup fresh mint or cilantro or basil–or any combination of these three
• 1/3 cup chopped peanuts–also optional, but delicious if you have them on hand
• Special equipment if you have it:  bamboo skewers, soaked in water so they don’t combust when you grill the meat

1. Heat the broiler or light the grill. In a medium bowl, combine 1 T of the fish sauce, 1 T sugar, 2 cloves garlic, and oil.  Add the chicken(0r other meat/protein) and toss. You can let this marinate in the refrigerator for several hours if need be, or you can thread the meat directly onto wooden skewers.  Broil or grill the chicken until just done, about 2 minutes per side. Seriously.
2. In a small bowl, combine the remaining fish sauce (4T), 1 T sugar, 1 clove of garlic, and the red pepper flakes, vinegar, lime juice,and water. Set this nuoc cham aside.You can also make this very early in the day.
3. Cook the vermicelli in a pot of boiling, salted water until done.
4. Put the pasta or other noodles on a platter and top with the cucumber, herbs, and chicken skewers. Pour the nuoc cham over all and sprinkle with peanuts.  Alternatively, use the nuoc cham to dress the chicken and cucumbers separately, have a large dish of herbs for sprinkling, and serve with individual rice bowls.

A  few weeks ago, Finn and I went to Chabot Space and Science Center for  a kid’s science class about the sun. It was full of fun, hands-on projects, including something called a “Sunion”–a layered collage demonstrating the Sun’s layers.  This was new information to him, and he took much care cutting and arranging the layers.  When he proudly told his sister about it (“I made a Sunion!” ) she exclaimed, “A Sunion?  What’s  a Sunion? That sounds like a pie!” Which of course it does. It sounds like a pissaladiere–a really delicious, melt in your mouth savory French tart made with onions, garlic, anchovies, and black olives. So of course, yours truly followed through.

Together, we brainstormed what foods might make the various layers of the sun, and adapted the pissaladiere to Finn’s diagram. The result was really delicious, though Finn wouldn’t touch it, of course.

Here is Finn’s Sunion:

Yellow photosphere lifts to reveal:  blue core, green radiative zone, orange convection zone, red chromosphere, white corona

Here is the one we ate:

The layers are composed of

• purple peruvian potatoes (boiled, cubed, tossed with butter)
• erbette chard sauteed in butter and olive oil with minced onion
• carrots sauteed in butter with thyme
• chopped plum tomatoes simmered with butter and thyme,
• all layered over a bottom layer of sliced yellow onions carmelized with 2-3 cloves garlic and 2 anchovies.

Once the vegetables are cooked, layer them over the uncooked pie crust according to your five-year old’s directions. Or you can improvise.

I would have added black olives for sun spots if I had any in the house. Also, I used a frozen TJ pie crust, which are terrific in a pinch.  I rolled out the crust and cut the sun spokes with a paring knife, but you could obviously skip this and use a tart pan or even a plain old pie plate, or just free form it…

The hard part is that each layer needs to be cooked separately and drained so it doesn’t make the crust soggy. Once the tart is assembled, it goes in a hot (375 degree) oven until the crust is cooked.  You can eat it immediately, or serve at room temperature. If you have the time and inclination, it would make a great side dish for company, a terrific plate on an al fresco buffet, a nice anchor for a picnic lunch…